Being able to laugh and enjoy retirement humour is priceless. As we age no matter how well we look after ourselves, our eye sight is failing, our joints are creaking, our bodies are not what they were. Although we might still feel 35 inside the reality can be rather different.
I love laughing with friends at the ridiculous things we find ourselves doing. We thought it would be fun to have a section devoted to humour so here is a selection of what made us smile and we hope it makes you smile also.
Keeping up with technology is perhaps one of the biggest challenges to us baby boomers particularly when the grandchildren know more than we do!
Why are there so many leads, gizmos, gadgets and widgets?
Life Before the Computer
Memory was something you lost with age
An application was for employment
A programme was a t.v. show
A cursor used profanity
A hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And if you had a 3 1/2 inch floppy you just hoped no -one found out!
I'm waiting for this sign to come up on my computer what about you!
As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world, I rapidly realized that I don't really give a rat's ring.
It's the tortoise life for me soon!
1. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.
2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, and still it is fat.
3. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years.
4. A tortoise doesn't run and does nothing, yet it lives for 450 years.
And you tell me to exercise? I don't think so. I'm retired. Go around me.
Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered:
1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and all-bran.
3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.
4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
5. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
6. If all is not lost, where is it?
7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
8. Some days, you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.
9. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few.
10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
13. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.
14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.
15. When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone want to play chess?
16. Its not hard to meet expenses . . . they're everywhere.
17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter... I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm hereafter.
19. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
20. I'M UNABLE TO REMEMBER WHETHER I'VE SENT YOU THIS BEFORE...
Some Senior Thoughts
God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,
the good fortune to run into the ones I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference.
You Know You're Getting Old When...
Everything that works hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.
You feel like the morning after, and you haven't been anywhere.
Your little black book only contains names ending in M.D.
Your children are beginning to look middle-aged.
Your mind makes contracts your body can't keep.
You look forward to a dull evening.
Your knees buckle and your belt won't.
Your back goes out more than you do.
You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there.
You know all the answers, but nobody asks the questions.
Funny how your expectations change as you get older!
The older I get, the more the definition of young changes - Byron Pulsifer
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair - Sam Ewing