My Mexican Dream is Over!

by Sharol Rasmussen
(USA)

Hi Pat and all my friends in the UK. This is Sharol Rasmussen, again, reporting to you from the US.

I hoped my time in Mexico would be a great experience, and my daughter and I could have some time bonding together, since we always had a difficult relationship, to say the least, but that didn't happen.

The whole flight and drive to my daughter in law's, Uncles house took 7 hrs., and was deep in Mexico, with cute little Mexican kids calling us gringos and stares everywhere, at my son Lance and myself, who are both blondes.

I knew what it felt like to be an alien....It was scary, especially since I haven't had Spanish lessons since 1975, and forgot most of what I learned since then. By the way, if you decide to retire to a foreign country, be careful of what your asking for, you may not have anyone to talk to.

When we got back to Graduajara for my daughter's schooling, things went from bad to worse. Not only were we bitten alive by mosquitoes, they do seem partial to blondes or certain blood types, by the way, we finally got to the beautiful condo we were renting for five weeks.

That's when all hell broke loose. Things were very difficult at her Uncles with only cold water to shower wash dishes, etc. But this place was like a palace....It was beautiful. I made the first mistake when I told both of them to have the master bedroom, forgetting I told each of them that.

Both kids had a bad fight, along with my daughter in law, even though, I suggested that they switch rooms once a week, out of fairness. It was not to be. Two of them left back to the Uncles house, and Ashlee and I stayed in the palace. The good thing is that it was within walking distance to the house, but my daughter had 10 hour days teaching, etc. so I rarely saw her.

Besides that situation, which was OK, since I understood that, my 22 year old decided to join the nightclub scene, partying and staying out until 2-4 am each night for four weeks. I got really sick of that, with her going out with strangers, I couldn't sleep, praying she would survive each night....This destroyed my mental health, which was fragile already, but we found ourselves barely on speaking terms...

The very worst part was when her final boyfriend and her were taking some kind of substance, and I saw the kitchen window wide open, the blinds swinging in the wind, and my daughter no where to be found. Her boyfriend said she fell out of the window, and I frantically yelled for her for 30 minutes until I heard what sounded like little steps finally coming towards me. She jumped a 5 ft. expanse from the rooftop through the window into the kitchen, and told me she walked on rooftops all the time. I knew we were in trouble then, and coxed her into the house without upsetting her, since I was so afraid about what I was seeing.

Needless to say, I couldn't wait to get out of Mexico, and all it's drugs, etc. I hurt my knee replacement, my right knee was extremely swollen, and couldn't travel. My daughter, however, had a ball, and had a few of her friends take my place on the cruise we were set to take together, and she went to Ecuador. I've only talked to her a couple of times since then, and she still hasn't helped me trying to get my money back from the airline, since I couldn't travel.....

Please, everyone, don't do everything for everyone. When you spend all your retirement money, no one will be there for you. I seem to learn the hard way, however, and finally decided I have to stop.

There is a group called CODA, which helps Co-Dependents, and I'm seeing a therapist in a few days. I beg you to learn from my mistakes, and take care of you. This stuff never ends, when we coddle our kids. It's time for them to either sink of swim. I know I need to.......


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Nov 23, 2014
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Mexican dream is over
by: Anonymous

Great article. The lady seems to go and go and not give up. I admire her for that. Time for her kids to take care of themselves, and financially let their mother have her own life. She deserves it. I hope to hear more about how she's doing, and wish her the best.

Nancy

Oct 11, 2014
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Mexican Dream Over
by: Anonymous

Love this women's guts.....She keeps trying and doesn't give up. You go girl.... Marie

Oct 08, 2014
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my mexican dream is over......
by: Tracy

Great article, love it. What else is this lady going to try next. She has a lot of guts, love to hear from you.....

Oct 08, 2014
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The end of your Mexican dream
by: Pat @ Babyboomers Retiring

Hi Sharol,

I'm so sorry to hear of your disappointment with your Mexican dream and that you've had to return to the US. Don't be too hard on yourself. It's much better to have tried and failed than to always wonder whether it would have worked out.

We all make mistakes and this is why it's so good to be able to share experiences with each other. It may just help someone else who is considering a move abroad to do some thorough research first and even perhaps go for a short time to experience the culture as a resident rather than a tourist before making the final decision.

Moving to a different country that has a completely different culture, language and infrastructure is always going to be hard.

For those of you considering a move abroad in your retirement there are some good tips on the
www.babyboomers-retiring.com/retiring-abroad.html page.

Hopefully you will be writing to us again shortly to let us know how things improve for you back in the US which I'm sure they will.

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