My Mexican Dream is Over!
by Sharol Rasmussen
Hi Pat and all my friends in the UK. This is Sharol Rasmussen, again, reporting to you from the US.
I hoped my time in Mexico would be a great experience, and my daughter and I could have some time bonding together, since we always had a difficult relationship, to say the least, but that didn't happen.
The whole flight and drive to my daughter in law's, Uncles house took 7 hrs., and was deep in Mexico, with cute little Mexican kids calling us gringos and stares everywhere, at my son Lance and myself, who are both blondes.
I knew what it felt like to be an alien....It was scary, especially since I haven't had Spanish lessons since 1975, and forgot most of what I learned since then. By the way, if you decide to retire to a foreign country, be careful of what your asking for, you may not have anyone to talk to.
When we got back to Graduajara for my daughter's schooling, things went from bad to worse. Not only were we bitten alive by mosquitoes, they do seem partial to blondes or certain blood types, by the way, we finally got to the beautiful condo we were renting for five weeks.
That's when all hell broke loose. Things were very difficult at her Uncles with only cold water to shower wash dishes, etc. But this place was like a palace....It was beautiful. I made the first mistake when I told both of them to have the master bedroom, forgetting I told each of them that.
Both kids had a bad fight, along with my daughter in law, even though, I suggested that they switch rooms once a week, out of fairness. It was not to be. Two of them left back to the Uncles house, and Ashlee and I stayed in the palace. The good thing is that it was within walking distance to the house, but my daughter had 10 hour days teaching, etc. so I rarely saw her.
Besides that situation, which was OK, since I understood that, my 22 year old decided to join the nightclub scene, partying and staying out until 2-4 am each night for four weeks. I got really sick of that, with her going out with strangers, I couldn't sleep, praying she would survive each night....This destroyed my mental health, which was fragile already, but we found ourselves barely on speaking terms...
The very worst part was when her final boyfriend and her were taking some kind of substance, and I saw the kitchen window wide open, the blinds swinging in the wind, and my daughter no where to be found. Her boyfriend said she fell out of the window, and I frantically yelled for her for 30 minutes until I heard what sounded like little steps finally coming towards me. She jumped a 5 ft. expanse from the rooftop through the window into the kitchen, and told me she walked on rooftops all the time. I knew we were in trouble then, and coxed her into the house without upsetting her, since I was so afraid about what I was seeing.
Needless to say, I couldn't wait to get out of Mexico, and all it's drugs, etc. I hurt my knee replacement, my right knee was extremely swollen, and couldn't travel. My daughter, however, had a ball, and had a few of her friends take my place on the cruise we were set to take together, and she went to Ecuador. I've only talked to her a couple of times since then, and she still hasn't helped me trying to get my money back from the airline, since I couldn't travel.....
Please, everyone, don't do everything for everyone. When you spend all your retirement money, no one will be there for you. I seem to learn the hard way, however, and finally decided I have to stop.
There is a group called CODA, which helps Co-Dependents, and I'm seeing a therapist in a few days. I beg you to learn from my mistakes, and take care of you. This stuff never ends, when we coddle our kids. It's time for them to either sink of swim. I know I need to.......