Learning how to say NO......
by sharol rasmussen
(rocky mount, mo.)
My name is Sharol and I'm a retired/disabled teacher from CA, U.S.A. I'm having my second knee replacement in a couple of days, on the other knee, so, as you can see, I don't get around very well.
I took an early retirement at age 44. I was having way too much stress teaching High School Special Ed. kids, having horrible dreams, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, severe memory problems, I just couldn't work any more. The stress was killing me, and I had to get out.
I was afraid that if I stopped working at age 44, I couldn't make it financially. I have been divorced since 1999, and have been completely on my own financially. The good thing about that was I don't have to rely on a man for money, the bad thing is I don't have a man to help out.
At least I don't have to deal with a stingy, control freak member of the opposite sex, telling me what to do.......But, if I make a mistake, it's solely on me......It's a trade, however, that I'm willing to make.
My biggest weakness, however, is learning how to say "NO" to my family for money. I find myself, with my co-dependency issues, wanting to help everyone on the planet, which I do to the best of my ability, but I find my bank account getting smaller and smaller.
What's a warmhearted, single mom to do? I know what I should do. I know what I need to do, but it's hard. I have a 30 year old son who is bi-polar, and can't handle the stress of working, so I help him and his wife out as much as I can.
His wife has some issues, herself..... At this point, I realize, that I have to teach them to fish, not provide the fish, then hopefully, they will see the light.
The bank of MOM, must close, or I will be on the street, with a sign that says, "Will babysit for food." I must take care of myself, or I can't help anyone, and that's what I plan to do..............