I cared for my ex-husband for three years and it almost destroyed me.....

by Sharol Rasmussen
(Rocky Mount, MO. USA)

In July, 1997, my husband and I were in Las Vegas at a concert. We found ourselves wanting to leave the dimly lit stadium, to avoid the masses of people, leaving at the same time, so we left a little early. As we were leaving, someone put their leg in front of us when we were exiting the narrow pathway. My ex tripped and fell backwards. He hit his back hard on a metal seat, had an indentation, no blood and claimed he was alright. I told him to take a shower when he got back to the room, which he did, and didn't think too much more about it, at first.......

We stayed there a couple of days, and had to drive four hours to pick up our dogs that my parents were watching. I noticed when we were driving there, he didn't seem quite like himself. I asked him if he wanted me to drive, but he refused. We picked up the dogs, visited overnight, then drove back to San Diego the next morning. He told me perhaps we was catching the flu, he seemed flushed. We got back home, and he went to work the next day.

By the following day, he was looking worse. I begged him to see his doctor. His neck was hurting and he got an adjustment, thinking that was the problem, but it wasn't. By mid-week I demanded he see the doctor, which he finally did, and the doctor gave him a cortizone injection, which I found out later was the worst thing he could have done.

He went to the doctor another time, but he had no fever, so the doctor thought there was no infection. By the time Friday came, I heard screaming from the other room where he was sleeping about 6 am, or so. He told me he couldn't move to call the ambulance. They took him away to the hospital, and by the next day, he was paralyzed. My daughter was only four, and extremely traumatized. It changed all of our lives, forever.....

We have all been taking care of him since 1997. I did it for three years, but every day, he was so hateful, and nasty, that finally, after three years, I left, with my daughter.

My son Lance decided to stay and help him, he was only sixteen. My son helped him for four years, and was doing great in high school before this happened, but by the time he graduated, he was near the bottom of his class. He ended up having a drug problem for many years, but thankfully, is off of it....

My daughter decided to move back into the family home at the age of ten to help her brother. She told me she would take me to court if I didn't let her. Clearly my ex had a guilty hold on the kids. My daughter helped out until she started college at seventeen. She's now twenty and is graduating this summer.

It's not like I haven't helped. I would visit as much as possible and help out, but mostly helped from my meager teacher disability. My son got married a couple of years ago, and now he and his wife can't stand it anymore, and are leaving in a couple of months.

Now the guilt get's worse. I know to the depths of my soul, that the kids and I are done. We can't do it any more. Of course his son from a previous marriage, his siter, or any other family members have refused to help. He has gone through all his money years ago, losing it in the stock market when we pleaded for him to take the money out, but he refused.

Because of his stupidity, we are all much poorer for supporting him. My son and his wife can't save a cent, it all goes to my ex and his house, that he clearly can't afford....We are trying to find him a couple of roommates to help with the rent, but when they come to find out the situation, it's doubtful they would want to put up with that. So, it seems, finally, after giving everything we could, it's time for a nursing home....

This is the only way that my kids and I can save our lives. I've gone through hundreds of thousands of dollars, using the gains I've made from some real estate sales the last ten year. It's now either him or us, and I choose us......It's got to stop or I'll be on the side of the road, with a sign that says, will work for food, or much worse....It's time for the kids and I to choose life, not death, and it's time, finally, for my ex to experience the consequences of his actions.....

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Sep 01, 2014
almost destroyed me
by: Anonymous

So sad this had to happen to you. Jake Great story.

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