Church Humour

Church humour always feels a little bit naughty.  After all going to Church and finding God is a serious matter but it can also be fun.

The world can be a scary and stressful place at times that's why it's important to look for the funny things in life to laugh at.  You know what they say laughter is the best medicine and there's no better place  to find something to smile about than church humour in your local Church.

Have you ever taken a second look at your local Church's weekly newsletter or on the noticeboards either inside or outside the Church?  You should it just might brighten up your day.



Here is some of the best Church Humour from the Church Bulletin.

The Fasting Conference will include meals.


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Our Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and
other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used
to cripple children.


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The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on Water'. 
The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus'.


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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance
to get rid of those things not worth keeping around
the house. Bring your husbands.


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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help


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Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way
again', giving obvious pleasure to the congregation


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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.


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Next Thursday there will be try-outs for the choir.
They need all the help they can get.

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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on
October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship
that began in their school days.


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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic
will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to
our choir practice.


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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to
the addition of new members and the deterioration
of some older ones.


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Please place your donation in the envelope along
with the deceased person you want remembered.


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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

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Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and
medication to follow.


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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothes
of every kind. They may be seen in the basement.


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This evening at 7pm there will be hymn singing
in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket
and come prepared to sin.


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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the
Congregation would lend him their electric girdles
for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at
7 PM.   Please use the back door.

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The school will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet
in the Church basement Friday at 7pm. The congregation
is invited to attend this tragedy.

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Weight Watchers will meet at 7pm at the First
Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door.

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And this one just about sums them all up:


The Minister unveiled the church's new slogan
last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.'



Church Humour from the pulpit




Church Humour taking a look at Heaven

 Mike and Yvonne were 85 years old and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they carefully watched their pennies.

Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to Yvonne's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade.

One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven.

They reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter escorted them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could be seen hanging their favorite clothes in the closet. They gasped in astonishment when he said, 'Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now.'

Mike asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. 'Why, nothing,' Peter replied, 'remember , this is your reward in Heaven.'
Mike looked out the window and right there he saw a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth.
'What are the greens fees?' grumbled Mike. 'This is heaven,' St. Peter replied. 'You can play for free, every day.'
 
Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch. 'Don't even ask,' said St. Peter to Mike. This is Heaven, it is all
free for you to enjoy.'

Mike looked around and nervously asked Yvonne 'Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods and the decaffeinated tea?'

'That's the best part,' St. Peter replied. 'You can eat and drink as much as you like and you will never get fat or sick. This is Heaven!'

'No gym to work out at?' said Mike

'Not unless you want to,' was the answer.

'No testing my sugar or blood pressure or...'

'Never again'
 
Mike glared at Yvonne and said, 'You and your Bran Flakes. We could have been here ten years ago!' 



Church Humour in the Noticeboards outside Church

The Churches embracing technology



Leaving the Church Humour behind with a special message.

Each day Laugh till your belly hurts and Dance while you can.




and talking of Dancing

Click on the D in dancing below . . . (I hope you can open it 'cause it's really special)!

Dancing


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